There's nothing more terrifying than being in an auto accident with your family. No matter how big or small the accident, life just seems to go in slow motion during and after the event. Nothing is more eye opening. Here's my story.
So after having a great birthday celebration with my oldest daughter we were heading home on the wintry evening. Laughing, giggling, smiling happy faces all around. It had been snowing on and off for a few hours and the streets were pretty quiet. And then it happened. Boom! Smack! Crunch! I turned to my husband and asked him what happened. He looked at me like I was a bit nuts and said calmly "we were just hit". Being completely dazed and confused and asked another poignant question "hit by what?" Clearly shock was`settling in. When he told me we were hit by another SUV I turned immediately and looked at my girls. The little one so quietly watching a movie. The older one crying. I asked Lyric if she was OK and she said "mommy what happened? I'm OK". Relief settled as I heard her say she was OK. Then I looked at Layla, who was in tears and asked her the same thing. "Are you OK?" She yelled "my back hurts". Immediately Mommy mode took over but fear set in as I called 911 while my husband went outside to check the damage and the other vehicle and its passengers.
I can remember speaking to the dispatcher and him asking me where I am....oh my gosh...I had no idea where I was. What was happening? Why couldn't I remember? So I looked at the GPS and told him my location. He heard Layla crying and asked if anyone was hurt. Of course I told him my oldest said her back hurt and then I realized the shooting pain in the back of my head. All I heard him say was the police were on their way and so was an ambulance. What the hell just happened? Thank God I remembered to call my mom to come get Lyric.
Within minutes I saw flashing lights and lots of EMTs on the scene. They took my oldest first - backboard and all - onto the ambulance. Then they took me. I tried to remain strong and be the Mom whilst in pain so that my beautiful birthday girl knew everything would be OK. Thank you EMTs for singing Happy Birthday to her. I know it meant a lot to her but it meant so much more to me.
So why am I telling you all of this....
Well here is why. I have had some time to think about what's important to me...I mean what is TRULY important to me. And honestly it is very simple...FAMILY. My family means the world to me and in that split second during the accident my heart sank and terror set in. The thought of my kids or my husband being hurt in any way scared me. I love them more than words could even begin to express. I want to be there for my girls when they get out of school. I want to be able to be a Mom and not a crazy lady who comes in like a whirlwind and leave like a Tasmanian devil. I want to be able to honestly stop and smell the roses...seriously I want to stop and smell flowers with my girls. I want to take them to the park on a nice day before the sun goes down. I want to take walks at night before the kids go to bed. Instead of that happy vision I rush to leave work, speed like a demon to get the kids, rush home to make some semblance of dinner, rush to help with homework, changed for bed and tucked in. At that point my husband is home and all I want to do is sleep. I want life to slow down - even just a little.
OK so maybe it doesn't seem like an epiphany...maybe it's just the realization that I want to be a good Mom and a good wife and that's all. Maybe it is just the realization that I am unable to climb the corporate ladders and be the wife and Mom that I want to be. I am honestly tired of the corporate bullshit, backstabbing / two faced liars who when you cross them they put a bulls-eye on your back.
Life becomes so much clearer when you take five minutes to stop and smell the roses (once the snow melts).
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